Layered

The natural inclination was to tell the little voice in my head to “shut the fuck up”. But this time was different as I finally figured out that this little voice, which is directly related to self-esteem and personal power, needed to be treated with compassion and sincerity. It’s that little voice filled with negativity, insecurity and all of the demons in your life that you have faced or are unwilling to face. It’s that little voice that says this task is impossible; this Experience is too challenging; this truth is unbearable, the risk isn’t worth it. It is responsible for self-defeat; shame; the continuation of debilitating patterns that take away your personal power. At 29, I finally understood and was catching it in the act. “It’s ok,” I told that little voice. A few times I said this, it could with ease, discern a disguised “shut the fuck up” and became reactive. Lesson learned. But I kept saying it. I still say it. With intent. Its enough to make you full when “it” grows quiet. I say this all to say - be nice to yourself. We’re layered and we’re all fighting to get to our truths whether it be unconscious or conscious. You are doing the best you can with all of the information you have. Tell that little voice that will willingly sabotage your personal power, self esteem, etc. “It’s ok”. To get through the fuckery (the layers of yourself and your Experience); to be whole and to enjoy the time that you have, have some self-respect for yourself and be nice. When “it” grows quiet, as cheesy as this may seem, you’ll hear your heart and you’ll hear your breath - which lets you know you’re still in this bitch. Promise, it’ll make you smile. Shit may even make you cry - and that’s okay.