Maturity

My light had dimmed a little and with months gone by I couldn’t and still am unable to discern if it’s maturation or pangs of regret and failure that have allowed me to be silent and observant in many different settings. I had changed and it was, and it is scaring me when you begin to apply the lessons learned. Loss of the old. Who will you become? That last one gave me the notes, directions and rough sketch of a roadmap to keep going with regards to my life path, but I couldn’t help but wonder if that path would somehow bring me back to that one. But I had listened this time. Maybe a little down the road. Go this way now. Maybe or maybe never. Focus. It is never easy and your patience is always tested but my eyes had grown heavy and behind them was more substance. Maybe it is maturation? Does regret, pain and loss whatever it looks like help to shape maturity? Possibly. To know that it isn’t a game as rules around love and the heart are beyond this realm in my opinion which is why your level is different than the one across the table from you. So the light had dimmed, yes, but maybe it was waiting to be ignited by a more mature understanding of how life works. But I wanted to capture a moment in the lows of the currents of separation. Fleeting now, and a process that I realized out of maturation, I cannot rush. So you learn to sit like an adult and not act like a child as you move through the journeys of life gone from the other as we all have experienced this. A spiritual contract to your route hidden in biological functions to facilitate the final destination to companionship, but above all else a better understanding of yourself. It’s never easy, but acceptance is maturity.