i n s t i n c t

Instinct is nature and as I get older, I’m seeing nature is the Teacher. “Lean on yourself bud”, is what I tell myself when faced with a problem - no longer reliant on external forces (idols, sacred texts, gurus, institutions, etc.). The freedom and confidence that stems from this - I shit you not, is an incredible high. But your Experience (life), and all that you’re meant to experience through your unique Design, I find, will end early if you’re not able to harness Instinct. If we agree Instinct (which is in you) is the Teacher, the inability to harness it and instead let it by hijacked by external forces can lead to the end -  and by end, I mean death. 

There is a desire to master my Design in order to maximize my Experience. Whereas others may give praise to external forces (idols, sacred texts, gurus, institutions, etc.) to ‘tell them’ of their own Design in order to maximize their Experience, or simply survive, I find myself giving praise to Instinct. In essence, to walk away from Instinct is to walk away from survival. It’s terrifying to rely solely on one’s nature and nothing else, but I know me – no one else. Why look for answers to tell me how to live when this is my Experience? While all subjective, here’s how Instinct is teaching me to maximize my Experience and master my Design.

1)     Instinct teaches you to question things which allows you to better discern people, situations, etc.

Discernment gives me the ability to trust myself and identify threatening/productive situations, things or people. This is done through Instinct and because of this, I’m able to advance through my Experience and maximize it faster.

In order for Instinct to begin to take shape, it’s imperative (I believe) to suspend belief and allow oneself to question surrounding. Instinct is rooted in primitive behavior and harnessing its primitive state, molding it to be used effectively is what I attempt to do each day. As an example, I was taught at an early age, under Christianity, not to question the ‘Lord’s work’ and to be mindful of sin, fearing God ‘Himself’. However, in my early 20’s there was an Instinct to know more about myself. I suspended the belief to fear ‘God’, and began to question ‘It’. Instinct allowed me to see that what I was actually fearful of was the unknown, death and ostracization. Upon suspension, my Experience began to expand as I opened my mind to the possibility of steering my own [it] without conditioned guidance. As a result, the ability to discern certain truths, situations and people for that matter, became clearer and I began to sift through the fuckery of this world easily.

2)     Instinct teaches you to ‘do’ in order to see your Design and not conform

Your Design is uniquely yours and is the blueprint of you and all the things you enjoy to create in your Experience. To know it helps you maximize your Experience as you embrace your uniqueness finding solace in your individuality and gifts. There is no longer a desire to conform.

We create each and every day albeit a family, relationships, work, etc. There is anxiety if you stunt creativity, even more so when you’re unable to not do what you feel out of trepidation, shame, guilt, etc. You are stunting Instinct, and this is not healthy. I’m a proponent of ‘everything in moderation’, however in order to experience what I’m meant to experience, I need to do unapologetically. When you do, your Instinct is teaching you what you must or must not pursue based on your Design. The only way to discover Design, is to allow Instinct to take shape, forcing yourself to do what you think is best in the present moment. As an example, I no longer hesitate to express my feelings when something is wrong or right in the present. For the Experience I want to have, and to know my Design, it’s important for me to be vocal, to ask and to do. Holding back is not an option. If my Instinct tells me to move, I do. As a result, there is not even a desire to conform as much because Instinct has shed light on my Design and uniqueness slowly building my confidence around my own power.

3) Instinct teaches you acceptance through confrontation

Acceptance of your Design is something that I’m beginning to master as Instinct sheds light on both light and dark aspects of [it]. When shown these aspects of Design, I confront them head-on letting Instinct ‘show me the best way’ despite the level of difficulty. I’ve come to find difficulty comes from the Ego and the inability of myself to sometimes not let go and let things flow.

 Through this confrontation and the ability of ‘doing’ (through moderation), forcing myself to suspend beliefs around the situation and myself, I accept. I accept what I cannot control and Instinct takes control. I no longer run, yet embrace it allowing it to teach me not to conform, and accepting was is a part of me. At the end of the day, I have no one to please but myself.

I say all this to say that I praise and I’m proud of my nature. Instinct is the tool that is allowing me to survive and maximize this Experience. I lean on this throughout my life and find myself not necessarily even worrying about next steps - because I trust my nature to show me the way.